While I am always an advocate of being vocal and expressive, I do not completely discount the value of non-verbal communication. After all, there is truth in the statement – Actions speak louder than words. It is fascinating to see how body language can be used by a person to add weight to his words. However, it becomes critical to verify non-verbal cues with the speaker; otherwise there are chances of wrong conclusions being drawn about the spoken words.
In this weblog, I intend to put down some traits that I’ve witnessed in my work-related interactions in the past. The fascinating concept that I wish to bring up is that I have lived in four different countries, and what may mean something in my country doesn’t always hold true for the other culture! It is both exciting and intriguing to learn these facts. THIS was truly an eye-opener!
One of the first things I notice about anybody is the face. Movement of the eyebrows and head are critical here. Raising eyebrows is very common amongst Indians to question something. However in the Philippines, I noticed that rising eyebrows, supported by a kind of ‘reverse’ nod, happens in agreement to a suggestion or an idea. Strange!
The way of disagreeing is equally distinctive. Example – X was just nodding his head and kept looking at me in the eyes, without saying anything. To me, being an Indian, it looked as if he was actually agreeing with me, as his facial expressions conveyed his responsiveness to my points! However, as he later pointed out, it was just the opposite.
Analyzing how a person laughs on his own jokes is very important. If it is a very controlled laughter, it may mean that he probably just intended to make others laugh. At a deeper level, I also feel that the person gets greater happiness from the fact that HE could make someone laugh selflessly. From another viewpoint, it could be interpreted that he harbors quite a lot of pain inside him which he does not want to reveal to the outside world and therefore is masking it behind a veil of controlled (and forced) laughter.
Next comes the defining moment for a man – The Handshake. A touch of the hand against my palm, or fingers not even clasping my hand is what gives it away instantly. It makes me feel that he is cautious of touching (me?) or maybe it is a signal from him so that people maintain a certain distance from him. Or it can be a sign of low confidence. Either way, it’s not really considered a firm handshake as per my benchmarks. And sorry, I don’t want to sound sexist here. Be it a man or a woman at the other end, I WILL make it a point to have the firmest handshake possible.
Then comes the overall body language and stance. People who value their personal space a lot will make sure not to get too close to or physical with others while talking. Their body language remains the same, irrespective of the gender of the other person. Even while chatting with close friends. To me, this portrays being a very formal and well mannered (or decent) person. This is also corroborated by the fact that he will find it impolite to cut anybody’s point during a discussion.
Probably the only thing that I have not been able to conclude is the movement of the hands while talking. Some people are animated vocalists – their hands make gestures or arms move around a lot. Does this imply aggression? I am currently trying to understand this aspect.
Musings of The Young Monk 
Nish, I do consent with the article of yours. I just want to add one thought. Did you ever think of reading the vibrations of a person? Once you learn that, you need not to focus too much on the body language. If you master art of the body language most of the time he can mislead you. But if you learn the art of reading some one’s vibration you can easily guess what is inside the mind of the other person. Think over those lines. Start your exercise with your closed ones. Just practice. Because the ultimate truth is one’s soul never tells a lie. Every soul emancipates vibrations all the time. End of the day I believe we are all ENERGIES. You need to listen the voice of the soul and come to a conclusion. Think of the idea: – Reading other by the vibration they emancipate!!!!
I agree with the previous comment that at times non-verbal communication can be faked. There are many who force eyecontact but are dishonest. One ought to check all the gestures together and not just a few gestures in isolation. Some guys just emit too much of negative energy and can be felt even though gestures may be fine.