I’ve been called many names over the years. As a kid the references were more to body shape or my personal hygiene. Of course those are the only visible things and lets admit, kids have the imagination and creativity of the whole world. Plus no one takes them seriously. But even then, being referred to as football or gondola (never mind if I didn’t know what it means, it just sounded rotund) was not comforting. But I lived on (like I had much choice anyway!)

Teenage years and the whole concept of being rebellious brought with it a new set of monikers – none of which I objected to. I guess back in the late 90s, it was quite cool to be known as the ‘Wild Child’ or ‘Party Animal’ or ‘Casanova’ or ‘Playboy’. Around the same time (probably fueled by the aforementioned names) I chose ‘Narcissist’ as my middle name. In my defense (especially to my disturbed parents) it was the stage name of a successful WWF wrestler and I was a fan.

Then I started working. With self-earned (white) money comes great responsibility. As my friends would tell you, I obviously did not understand what that meant. So my money instead went towards restaurant bills, petrol, movies, music and of course, alcohol. As you will realize, this combination ensured that I continued to remain a “well rounded personality”. I was never obese or portly, but like Obelix would say, large bodied. And I was in my comfort zone (as in the city, Delhi) where ‘large men’ are synonymous with good wealth and health. So it was all good.

But my real calling came when I went abroad to study and later work. I realized my love for gadgets and emerging technologies was well reciprocated by the ecosystem offered in a foreign country. For starters, the free high speed broadband internet at University meant unlimited movie and music downloads. That instantly made me the “Go To Man” for latest movies (of all kinds). Although I grudgingly had to give up that hobby when the IT department detected unusually high traffic emanating from my dorm room. I tried hard to reason with them that this traffic consisted of happy guys leaving with the portable hard disks. But they wouldn’t buy that argument.

I always considered it to be a socially acceptable charitable act of serving the needy. However some well wishers later told me that the real reason why girls in campus were hiding upon seeing me was that they felt I was some kind of internet pervert. I have never been able to figure that one out. 

Then came the Dubai-phase of my life. Like most NRIs nervously exiting through the Green Channel at Indian airports would tell you (secretly), it is THE HEAVEN for electronics’ crazy Indians. I cant recollect how many gadgets I bought there on an impulse. Everything seemed to make perfect sense in the shop but somehow not at all a few days after bringing them home. Still I kept reading, researching and buying stuff. As a natural extension of my hobby I was also freely doling out tech gyaan to basically anyone who was willing to hear me out. Many a times, to people who were sleeping or deaf too. Such was the passion!

Hence the name ‘Tech Geek’ got attached to me. I modestly and unblushingly accepted it – I didn’t have much choice at that time too. As a child, I’ve always secretly thought of myself as a contemporary of Dexter and Einstein has been a role model too.

What was the harm anyway? I figured that if it is anything that will stick with me till the end of life, it will be technology. Of course I’ll have to make that extra effort to keep up with it given how fast it is evolving these days. But then, all relationships require sacrifice and compromise. At least in this case I’m willingly making one! And its not even asking for anything in return! (Score 1 for The Nish Relationship Theory).

To be honest there have been many occasions where I was more disturbed by a custom Android ROM not behaving properly or my Ubuntu slowing down, than I was by the PMS of The Lady (Score 2, yoo hoo). Despite staying in the dirtiest city in the world, I’m more irritated with a dropped WiFi connection than bird droppings and broken package installs than by my broken cistern.

In a nutshell, on a satisfaction scale the pleasure derived from making multiple gadgets talk to each other and configuring devices by trial and error ranks a couple of notches higher than an 18-year old Single Malt for me.

I like to look at tech as my ‘retirement plan’. Its very simple. I know for a fact that I’ll not be able to pursue other hobbies with as much passion as I do now because of the age factor. For example, continence aside, I don’t think alcohol would be kind to my body later on. Or that I would be able to go for spontaneous long drives and road trips with Armin blasting away. God forbid, if my kids (or grand kids) catch me headbanging to EDM or singing in the shower, I’m sure I would be dispatched to an asylum. And as much as I would love to be able to fornicate away whole day after retirement, I doubt if that is medically possible.

Most other hobbies and passions age with you. But tech is something that transcends time. Feminism be damned, but I perceive technology as male and I have no shame in admitting we are companions, comrades, partners in crime. This bromance was meant to be!